"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind." (Humprey Bogart)

"I gave up drinking once - it was the worst afternoon of my entire life." (Humprey Bogart)

“It takes one drink to get me drunk, but I can‘t remember if it‘s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.” (George Burns)

“Let us have wine women and women, mirth and laughter, sermons and soda-water the day after.” (Lord Byron)

“I always keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake – which I also keep handy.” (W.C. Fields)

“I spent most of my money on booze, drugs and women. The rest I wasted” (W.C. Fields)

"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." (Ernest Hemmingway)

"Ale, man, that's the stuff to drink / For fellows whom it hurts to think" (A.E. Houseman)

"Wine maketh merry, but money answereth all things" (Isaiah)

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." (Joe E Lewis)

"He was a wise man who invented beer." (Plato)

“Drunkenness is temporary suicide: the happiness that it brings is merely negative, a momentary cessation of unhappiness.” (Bertrand Russell)